


Confidants

by Morgue



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: Cheating, Drug Use, M/M, Missing Persons, Multi, Other, Recreational Drug Use, Running Away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgue/pseuds/Morgue
Summary: Two boysA partyLots of makeoutsprobably some weedlets be real, there's definitely weedLoveIts gay





	1. I told you no

"Look Ashley, I told you before my parents wont let me go to the party!"

 

"Phil, That's exactly why you don't tell them you're going!" She sighed, placing her hands on her hips. Sometimes I love my girlfriend sometimes I don't. Now is one of those times I dont

 

"If you don't go i'll just go without you!"

 

"Fine! I have to study for a test anyways!"

 

"Fine!" She storms off and I just head home. No use arguing with her, she always gets her way. Maybe I should go just to spite her, but I have to study. So I do. Study that is, biology is fucking hard man.

 

Then several hours I get a phone call

 

"Ashley?"

 

"Jen? Is that you! OH my god you need to be here! Oh my god I'm so fucking drunk on jello shots!" Damn, She sounds really drunk, it's late she needs to get home, her parents'll kill her. 

 

"I'm on my way" I hang up and carefully walk down the stairs and get the car keys and drive to Chris's house, most popular kid of course where else would the party be?

 

I park behind hoards of cars and make my way to find Ashley and I see her.

 

Making out.

 

With Chris.

 

Just my luck, she cheats on me with chris, no use in staying now.

 

"Hey Cutie" someone wolf whistles, was that directed at me? I turn around "Who? Was that for- For me?"

 

I faintly see an outline of a person in the shadows and he steps out smoking a cigarette, no, not a cigarette, a joint. Oh jeez

 

"Hey cutie, You someones prize?"  He steps closer, examining me closer 

 

"I uh....no I just need to forget some things"

 

He reaches into his pocket, oh jeez its more weed and nows he's just silently rolling a joint. and hands it to  me??? what do I do what do I do, oh no its weed that's bad.

 

"I uh...thanks"

 

"To help you forget" He lights it for me and presses it to my lips and I inhale, it feels good. That's bad, bad that its good....

 

He smiles "whats your story?"

 

"Its a long one'

 

"I've only got time"

 

and so I do and as I do I smoke more joints, this could be fun. 

 

it is fun soon I'm leaning on this stranger high as.....

 

High as..... I don't know something that's high?

 

"Arent you a cutie'

 

I giggle "stop it! I don't even know your name!" 

 

He grabs my joint "Come here, I'm gonna show you something" 

 

I lean closer and watch him deeply inhale it. And then he grabs the back of my neck and presses my lips to his and pushes the smoke into my mouth, god I relish the high. 

 

"Youre mine for the night sweetheart"

 

All I do is nod

 

"I'm Daniel, call me Dan"

 

 


	2. A kiss and a flutter

" _Mine for the night"_ Now would be the time to mention I'm a virgin. But i just go with him as he drags me upstairs and opens a door and closes it.

 

"Come on baby" He kisses from my jaw to my neck, and i don't tell tell him to stop, the only noises I make are ones of pleasure. "Oh that feels good now doesn't it baby?" He slides one hand up my chest and pushes me onto the bed. I look up at him and i flash the most innocent eyes I can make.

 

"Oh baby the things you're doing to me, god I'm gonna wreck you" Soon enough we're naked, dear god, we're naked, oh no no no. Guess who didn't take his Lexapro today? ME! and guess who's breath is hitching, i cant tell if it's the anxiety or the pleasure of him kissing me and making his marks. No matter which it is I don't tell him to stop but what I do say is, " Wait!" and his hands stop trailing down my spine and my waist "what is it love?" 

 

"I'm...... This.... This is my first time" 

 

His eyes open wide a tiny bit, then he kisses me "I'll stop, but this will hurt you."

 

"A good hurt though, right?" 

 

"Yes baby, a good hurt" he pulls open a drawer "perfect, lube and a condom" He squirts some onto his fingers and slides them into me and I whine, its such a mix of pain and pleasure. And i moan. 

 

He makes them stretch me open. "You ready for me baby?"

 

"I am, i am ready" I say it aloud so he can hear and so i can tell myself I am ready, I am, I am, I am. 

 

And he slides into me and god it hurts! And god it fucking feels good. 

 

"More! Fuck Dan! More!" I moan and he slowly starts thrusting, fuck its so good.

 

Then bam! The door flies open and there's a punk looking girl who I've never seen in the doorway, she stifles a giggle "Dan cops here! We're bouncing, tell the boy goodnight!" She darts across the room and slides out of the window

 

Dan kisses me once more as he pulls out, this kiss isn't as forceful as the last ones, it's sweet and calm. "Goodbye Phil" He throws his clothes on and slides out the open window

 

And I just

 

Lay there

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a delay. guess who doesnt have serotonin. ME!  
> Stay Alive and keep running-
> 
> Morgan


	3. The next day

Guess I must've passed out from the weed, I mean I've never done that before. the sex and the weed, damn I'm such a virgin. But the sun hits my eyes and it hurts. Must still be alive, but the pain in my head makes me wish I wasn't. I slowly sit up and grasp my head, hell does it hurt. How can people do drugs???? I look to my left and on the bedside table the clock reads, 12:00

 

"Fuck! " I leap out of the bed and pull my shirt over my head. "Damnit!" my boxers are gone, if he took them that's weird and if someone else did.....well that's also weird, I suppose. Nevertheless guess I'm going commando. And I bolt downstairs and out the door, home or school? Damn it's Saturday! That means

 

home.

 

I ran as fast home as I can and climb in my window and from downstairs I hear "Phil! Wake up and come take your Lexapro!" I toss off my clothes and put on my pajamas and try my best to look tired, which isn't that hard right now.

 

As I walk down the stairs, my mom grabs my hand "Phillip! You should've woken up earlier! Now your Lexapro might not work!'

 

I chuckle, "sorry mom, was up late doing homework"

 

"don't stress yourself out again phil! Go make friends or hang out with whatever her name is" I sigh " Whatever her name is no longer my girlfriend"

 

She gasps "Did you meet someone else? Whats her name"

 

"Daniel"

 

"Danielle?"

 

"Daniel"

 

"oh a boy, is he cute at least?"

 

"SO cute!" I giggle

 

"Are you a lesbian? Is that what there called?"

 

"No um, I'm uh bisexual I think"

 

"A girl?!"

 

"No! I like boys and girls"

 

"Wonderful. Just be happy, okay?"

 

"I'll try"

 

"Okay honey, take your Lexapro"

 

I do.

fuck anxiety


	4. a flitting in Mcdonalds

"Hey mom! Is it alright if I go to Mcdonalds? Pick some food up since I've been working so hard? I'll get you a milkshake" 

 

Milkshakes, her one weakness.

 

She looks up at me from her knitting, its a sweater for "David" She already forgot Dan's name. "Make it a large milkshake. Keys are on the table" 

 

"Yess! Thanks mom!" I place a kiss on her cheek before shoving my shoes on and a coat.

 

And I drive.

 

Driving is simple. 

It keeps me calm somehow.

Its a straightforward routine I suppose. Green light go. Yellow slow down. Red, stop. Stop sign stop. need to turn around? Make a u turn. 

 

I wish I could make u turns in life. Just turn around, try again. You cant do that. 

 

With Dan though.....with Dan it's like a roadtrip on a long and winding road with no lights and no signs. Its.....

 

uncomplicated. 

 

And just as I get comfortable and completely zen, I arrive at Mcdonalds. 

 

I slowly park. 

 

And I take a deep breath and go in, you see I've forgotten the fact that you have to talk to someone when  you order.

 

Not just someone.

 

_a stranger,_

 

I get in line, on the way I memorized my order what to, and I have the exact amount of money in my hands. 

 

"Yo, can I get your order?"

 

I look up 

 

"Dan?"

 

In the light you can see snakebites? Gauges? eyeliner? lipstick? nail polish? Who In God's name can look that good?

 

"oh hey Phil....." he bites down on one of his lip rings "what do you want to um buy?"

 

"um....Nuggets..six nuggets,,,,medium fries...and a large chocolate milkshake." I mutter looking at my hands as I push the money towards him

 

"I'm just gonna assume this is the right amount, " he shoves it in the register and hops over the counter "I'm on break now. Jen! You're on register duty!"

 

Who  _is_ he??

 

"So....came looking for me? or were you just hungry cutie?" he winks at me

 

"I....Hungry..." I feel the warmth flood my face

 

he laughs "you're cute when flustered " 

 

A women brings me my food 

 

"thanks Jen, I'm taking the day off"

 

"You owe me Howell" she walks off

 

"Let's go give your mom the milkshake!' he jumps up walking out

 

I run after him "How'd you know its hers?"

 

"Jen told me" and he struts off

 

_Who_

_is_

_he???_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys
> 
> My boyfriend dumped me
> 
> I'm sad
> 
> Morgan


	5. Parental Advisory

I run after him "wait up!"

 

He gives a chuckle "of course, you do have the keys after all" he smiles and whistles, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a lighter. then reaching into his back pocket (oh my god he has a nice ass, How did I not notice it before?) he pulls out a pack of cigarettes. 

 

"I just thought you did weed"

 

"you don't do weed doll, you smoke it" 

 

I unlock the car and shrug and hop in the front seat "can you hold the food while I drive?"

 

He nods and grabs it, setting it into his lap.  He finally lights the cigarette, he puts it to his lips still humming an old familiar tune.

 

It puts me at ease. I calmly drive, my grip on the wheel loosing and before I know it.

 

We're home, well my home that is.

 

He flicks the cigarette on the sidewalk and just struts on inside.

 

I ran after him locking the car, I always have to run after this boy don't I?

 

"Hello Ms. Phil's mom" he curtseys and hands her the milkshake 

 

"Why, you must be David! Phil's boyfriend!"

 

"It's Dan actually.....and we aren't dating....Just uh....hanging out for now"

 

That's what we are.....we're "hanging"

 

"Well, you aren't what I expected... very uh....is your look goth? or emo? Phil told me about it once"

 

"As a matter of fact its punk. I'm thinking of dying my hair red"

 

It would look great red.

 

"Oh! Can you dye mine! I want to be a blonde!"

 

"mom! Dan and I are gonna eat outside...."

 

"Okay Phillip.....Treat him nice Daniel" She waves us off.

 

I open the door to the back and sit at the table and look at Dan.

 

"what are we Phil?"

 

what are we? When he just defined it?

 

"I....We.....

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment  
> Stay alive and keep running-  
> Morgan


	6. textbook definition

"what? what do you mean what are we? apparently we 're just  _friends"_ I hiss out the last word, emphasizing that i want it to be different.

 

" i just said that cause its your mom! I'm not really the type to fuck someone and then date them! "

 

My blood boils "Well for starters you barely did fuck me! and second of all am I just a one night stand? Cause if a one night stand was all you wanted, then you didnt have to come to my house...." i look down, tears welling up.

 

"Oh god phil....I didn't mean it like that.. When I'm with you I feel free... I dont want that feeling to go away. What i meant to say was...what do you want us to be...I wanted to know if you wanted to date...a lot of people dont want to date me."

 

 i chuckle before bursting into laughter "You dumbass! Of course I want to date you!" i throw my arms around his neck and kiss his nose ring .

 

He smiles "Can't wait to see you at school.."

 

"You go to school with me?"

 

" was suspended for hitting a kid, said gays were fags... "

 

i smile "My brave strong boyfriend." I giggle, I can't believe I have a boyfriend, I always pictured myself with a girl. But hey

 

He'll do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im scared  
> stay alive and keep running  
> morgue  
> also...i have a dark and bit triggering idea for the next chapters so be ready


	7. Don't do that for me

I wake up the next day. Dan had gone home. Needing to care for his younger brother. 

He's so sweet my boyfriend

 

_boyfriend_

 

It rolls of the tongue, doesn't it?

 

As I put on the perfect outfit I realise, He won't care.

I could wear a potato sack and he'd call me gorgeous.

And I'd believe it. 

I would.

 

I sit in the back of the bus. I don't mind being alone, Gives me time to listen to music and think. And procrastinate taking my pills. 

 

The bus ride is quick, only time for two songs really. 

 

I hop off and pop two pills.

 

"Is this the fag that dumped you?" It's chris, Ashleys new boyfriend

"I uh, didn't dump her" I started backing up slowly "p pl please back up" 

He makes a fist and I scream before it even hits my face.

 

I fall back onto my hands, tears streaming down my face.

 

"Get away from him!" It's Dan. Running to us. Chris just steps closer "Let me guess" He picks my shaking, sobbing body up by my hood. "That's your fag boyfriend isn't it?" 

I nod

And get throw to the ground. Kicked like a stray

Dan tackles Chris. 

I look up, he's punching him.

 

Hurting him.

 

Bad. 

 

There's blood flying everywhere. I know its not his. 

I pull myself up and grab his arm and he turns to me and punches me in the face.

 

I fall back, gasping, shaking, sobbing. I start crawling away. 

Dan gets off of chris.

He's unconscious.

"Phil..." He steps close to me

 

"Get away from me! Get away!" I push myself up and run. 

 

and don't look back

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today was the second to last day of school  
> btw phil takes the bus cause its better for the environment than just him in the car


	8. heave, ho

 I run the four blocks back to my house, never once stopping. Never once looking

 

back. 

 

There's not time for that when you're running from your fears. He's a fear now. 

 

an anxiety.

 

a doubt. 

 

God, he was too good to be true. I finally make it to my door, heaving, I reach into my pocket for my keys. 

 

I drop them, my hands are shaking so much. I finally get it open and slam it shut. collapsing against it. 

 

I pull my knees to my aching chest.  

 

After I've caught my breath, I get up. and walk to the bathroom.

 

I roll my shirt up and see nasty purple bruises.  On my lower neck is a different type of bruise. A hickey, 

 

a reminder of him. 

 

I reach into the cabinet and pull out an ace bandage and wrap it around my chest, wincing, Tears forming, stinging my black eye. 

 

I fall apart. 

 

I fall to the floor and sob, 

 

Sobbing makes the pain worse.

 

the pain makes the hurt of him go away.

 

I keep sobbing. 

 

keep feeling the pain. 

 

until I feel a touch on my shoulder. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey  
> I was at camp, then my nanas, then had a mini breakdown. got myself a boyf. I've been busy. 
> 
> Stay alive and keep running (and maybe please comment?) 
> 
> morgue


	9. promises to keep

i jerk my body away from the touch. 

 

 "Phil...please I'm so sorry...."

 

 " GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! " I put my head in ny hands, curling up, protecting myself.

 

 "please! I didn't mean to!"

 

 I look up at him showing my bloody bruised face "This is all your fault! I just want to be normal Dan!" tears cascade down my purple cheeks "I just wanted to go to a party! I just wanted a boyfriend! i don't want this! i don't! I don't! I don't!"

 

 my doctor always told me people with anxiety have a habit of repetition.

 

 "I'm going to a place for troubled teens. I'm going tomorrow. I wanted to apologize before i leave phil....phil I love -"

 

" GET OUT OR I'M CALLING THE COPS! GET OUT DAN! GET OUT! " I push him with all my strength.

 

he falls back, I hear a snap. His wrist is swelling up, tears forming. 'I love you phil and im so sorry.I'll write you..." he gets up and runs.

 

I look at my shaking hands and I give a guttural cry. He hurt me. I hurt him.

 

Are any of us truly good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MENTAL BREAKDOWNS HAVE BEEN A COMMON RECURRENCE LATELY. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!
> 
> -stay alive and keep running  
> morgan


	10. time flies by when you're having...

It's been a month since I last saw Dan. Chris got expelled. And I became even more broken. 

 

Who knew that was possible? Anyway I've got a new boyfriend, his name is Pj. Keeps me supplied with drugs so I can forget about Dan. 

 

Dan has written me tons of letters. They don't allow technology where he is. I never write back, his letters are full of apologies. 

 

Yeah, cause I'll forgive you for breaking my goddamn ribs. 

 

Now Pj and I use the letters to roll blunts and smoke away the sorrows. 

 

He isn't here. 

 

I'm in the neighborhood playground to get high and pretend to go back to a time of innocence. 

 

I sit on the bench, looking at my feet. 

 

"PJ stop giving him drugs!"

 

"Why Dan, you two arent together anymore, It's me and him. And he wants to forget you"

 

My ears perk up, and my eyes widen.  _Thats Dan Talking to PJ!_

 

"I know I hurt him PJ but goddamn it let me try to fix my problems"

 

"Phil, you and I dated, it sucked. Took all of my weed and didnt have a job, didnt talk to me. I don't like you"

 

Wow. He's certainly changed.

 

"I've changed PJ! I love Phil! I just, made a mistake. That guy, Chris? He was gonna kill him, saw it in his eyes. I had to help, he accidentally got in the way, and i hurt him and i feel so bad about it. I understand if he never wants to see my again but please, let me just talk to him" 

 

"Fine Dan. One chance. If he says he doesnt want to see you, go. Or I will kill you"

 

Boy, I sure do like trouble makers, don't I?

 

"Phil..." he walks to me "Please just listen"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait folks, high school is going alright and theres always soooooo much to do. And i've been crying more than usual. sooooo. I'll also be at the Twenty one pilots concert October 31 in DC if youre going HMU
> 
> Stay alive and Keep Running-
> 
> Morgan

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Morgan here with another Phanfic. Please enjoy and comment
> 
> Stay alive and keep running-
> 
> Morgan
> 
> Also happy holidays


End file.
